The Journey

Something didn't feel right.

2008-12-23T05:45:00.000-08:00

It's funny how some things just don't sit right in the heart. Now that I've heard the conspiracy theories I know why the news irritated me when I wrote the following thoughts:

"Is it just cynicism that makes me feel the American response is overkill, or is it the media quest for sensation? I am sensitive to the great despair, but the impression left by the media coverage is that no other nation ever had anything so bad happen to them. When Saddam was killing off the marsh Arabs, and other genocide stories hit the news, the US officials, the United Nations, and the world in general seemed largely detached. May be the response to 9/11 was so phenomenal because the World Trade Centre affected the economy of so many nations; also it gets the peoples attention when a bomb is dropped in their own backyard. I find that disturbing. Not only the Americans, but we all lean toward indifference until the unthinkable hits close to home." We also tend to leave social problems for others to deal with.

After viewing many videos on YouTube about 9/11 being an inside job, and showing how propaganda was used to stir up fear in the people so they would support a war on terrorism, I realized it was the propaganda that didn't sit right in my heart. It was scary to realize that the same tactics used by Hitler to achieve his agenda were being used by the Bush administration. But one might ask why destroy your own financial center? The underlying plan for the final stages of 'The New World Order' required a war in Iraq, to have control over an oil pipeline there; so they needed and excuse to declare war on them.

I know that sounds outrageous, but so does the building of prison camps on American soil, to deal with those who oppose the coming dictatorship. The videos are really scary, and make you realize that the horrors of World War II are going to be repeated if people don't rise up and fight the loss of their freedom. Fema is prepared for martial law: makes you think of the many dissenters at different times in world history, who were the enemy of the ruling elites plans; labelled as criminals, and savages, who were suppressed or killed legally by the law and military might of the day.

The unthinkable has florished under our noses all along, unnoticed by those who are not privy to the plans of empire building. The people have been dumbed down with tradition, patriotism, and conditioning; all leading to a false sense of security. Some people saw passed this programmed view of the world; the 60's & 70's saw an awareness stirring among the people. The 'Hippy' generation examined everything they were taught to believe; some even went to jail for not paying taxes in protest of the war machine.

I recall a couple of radical incidents aimed at Corporate America: the kidnapping of Patty Hearst, daughter of the newspaper baron, Randolf Hearst. Then there was the murder of the Folger's heiress, at the house of Sharon Tate, and the threat of Charles Manson to kill the families of the corporate elite. Though he recognized who was in control of the country, his methods to illiminate them couldn't be accepted by a civilized world.

He may have manipulated his followers, but he was just crazy to reasonable people who had never heard of him or what he knew. The quest for world domination is a sociopathic agenda
that breeds programs like Hitler's "Final Solution." It is not reasonable, and no matter who you are, if you stand in the way of those who have been working toward ruling the world you get illiminated. George Orwell hit the nail on the head in his novel "1984." We all thought he was just exposing the evils of Communism, but he was referring to all dictatorship, including the coming "New World Order" that we first heard of in a speech by George Bush Sr.

It's hard to wrap your brain around the social engineering of world terrorism and the global economic crisis, as tools to incite fear and great insecurity to lead people into accepting a one world order as a solution to our ills. Secret meetings, attended by the elite, and world leaders are used to work out the step by step details: one being the SPP, which is the merging of Canada, the US, and Mexico. The currency is already being made, called the Amero--the same principle as the Euro--it will mean the loss of national sovereignty, and give free access for America to Canadian and Mexican resources.

If this is all new to anyone who reads this, they can be excused for thinking I'm a crackpot, but the internet is a great resource for seekers of truth. Until now it has been relatively uncensored, but that is beginning to change. Check out what I'm saying while you still can.

Contemplation on life.

2008-12-22T04:21:00.000-08:00

Words are like slippy little fish when you try to grasp them with your hands; threads of thought are swimming around in my waking consciousness, making it difficult to concentrate on what I wanted to write about. Maybe it's due to the conflicting priorities that confront me with Christmas being only three days away.

I noticed on my Google home page that the whole of Canada is covered in a blanket of snow, on this official beginning of winter. It's like many prayers for a white Christmas were answered. It just adds to the pressure of my conflicting priorities, but I don't want to go there this morning.

My waking thoughts were a result of the many hours spent editing my YouTube favorites page. When I first started to save videos on my account I suddenly got a little paranoid of making myself a target for being a potential troublemaker; the old radical spirit was like a dried up old prune. The messages of the videos are radical and make you question everything we thought we know about life. Many suspicions I had in the 70's are being confirmed, and things I believed were myth are now being presented as believable. This is confusing for a Christian, but some of these wacky sounding things give possible answers to the confusing images presented in the book of Revelation.

It was my son's trepidation about these 'tell it like it is' videos that made me stop and think about what I was doing; it's not like him to shrink from the truth, but this all sounded like an ominous omen to him--which it is--and he doesn't want to focus on what he can't change. The thought that got me though is that the only way evil can win is if good people do nothing. The call of Ezekiel came back to me: he was to be a watchman, and to blow the trumpet when he saw danger approaching. If people didn't want to listen to him, and they died because of it, then the blood was on their own head. But if he saw danger and didn't warn people, then he would be held accountable for their blood, because he gave them no chance to escape.

After suffering an unexpected heart attack, and having emergency bypass surgery, there is no guarantee for longevity in this body; I figure coming out of it means I still have a mission to complete. Having the internet makes it easier to reach many more people than I ever could in the physical world. The beauty of this is that there are so many that are blowing the trumpet, and the world economic crisis is driving people to understand what is happening. So I threw caution to the wind, and started to accumulate the works of these trumpet blowers that couldn't be denied. This is the stuff that gets overpowering if not taken in small doses.

Once my eyes had been opened to the truth of what the new world order was all about, and had time to let it sink in, I started to look for solution oriented videos; after all the book of Revelation tells us that good wins over evil. In the meantime a great deception will blind humanity to what is going on. So I have been editing my favorites page, to weed out 'new age' thinking, as it is part of the deception. The idea is to present the works of those who are revealing things we need to consider as the signs of the last days pass under our noses: not to convince people, just to open their eyes. It will be up to them if they want to believe what is presented. If I was raised from the operating table to sound the alarm, just like Ezekiel, then this new lease on life will have counted for something.

If this contemplation has piqued your curiosity check out my page: http://www.youtube.com/rookycybernerd

All of this has affected the rewriting of my book, Beam me up Lord, which I am posting on my other Google blog: http://patdysonsblog.blogspot.com . The only thing I dislike about doing it this way is that the entries are listed backwards; so that it opens with the last post. To read it as a book you must go into the archive and start with the introduction. It's a bit inconvenient, but I hope it wont put serious readers off.

On days like today.

2008-10-31T16:15:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I'm just getting old, or if I'm dying. Like the old house beside the canal in St. Peter's, Cape Breton Island, NS. On days like today I recall reading a pamphlet on the stages of dying, when my mom was in paliative care for the last week of her life.

The pamphlet said that in the first stage you just don't want to do things you would normally enjoy, which explained why she didn't want to come to the phone and talk whenever I called, in the last few weeks before dad took her to the hospital.

Since I came back to Toronto, to spend more time with her while I still could, it has been a real struggle to make ends meet. There is no money for enjoying being back in the city, let alone to socialize. My only social activity is blogging. This was dropped on me when someone asked why I keep going back to freewebs, to put up with the Christian bashing. I answered honestly, when I explained that I had made many friends, and sometimes I could help some people out by answering questions about things I knew the answers to. But, as I included in the comment, it was my social life. How pathetic that must sound.

Another truth is that while blogging I don't think about things that would make me depressed. That is a God send: we don't tend to think of our own troubles if we are sensitive to the poor mental state of others, and can give them a word of encouragement. How odd it is to reach out when one is hurting, to comfort someone else; for it lifts your own spirits. Maybe that is one of the reasons that it is better to give than receive, as Jesus said.

There are many creative things I used to enjoy doing, which I can't be bothered with anymore, and I'm pretty well a recluse; going out only when I have to, but I'm glad I still enjoy reading and being online. So I guess I'm not ready to give up the ghost yet, even though sometimes I get tired of the struggle and think about what a relief it would be to go home to be with the Lord. It is usually only a fleeting thought, and because I still wake up in the morning there is something yet for me to accomplish before my time is due.

The Sociopaths Among Us.

2008-10-26T05:57:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder why I'm drawn to certain books. If there is any validity in the idea of how we decorate our place; or the pets we choose; and how we dress, then the books we are drawn to say a lot about us too. The subject of psychology, especially abnormal psychology, has always intrigued me.

I started to read about psychology at first to understand myself. I was really messed up when my husband deserted me. and blamed myself; I wanted to find out what was wrong with me.

This was '62, the year our second son was born. For some reason Freud caught my attention while I was at the library; having always been an avid reader, and learning much from books. His theories were surprising, and caused much painful soulsearching, but I got tired of his preoccupation with sex; something was missing from the picture he painted. It wasn't long after that when the Manson family made the news. I bought the book, 'Helter-Skelter'; written by the man who invesigated the case; if memory serves me well. I grew up with the stories of Jack the Ripper, and Sweenie Todd; I thought this book may shed some light on what makes people seriel killers. But it didn't satisfactorally answer the question of how someone could manipulate others to do their bidding.

What made people tick made me curious. I think my study of Astrology was originally for the purpose of understanding myself, and others. Considering how important relationships are to human beings; as essential as breathing, learning how to relate and deal with other people was something to be desired.

I was really pleased that Psych 101 was a required subject in the course I chose to take as a mature student, in '85. In the second year Consumer Psychology was an option, which I jumped on. I even borrowed another course textbook from one of my professors, to get more understanding of how the brain worked. At the time I was interested in studying how it might relate to my studies of Astrology; I knew Jung used it in his practice. What I wanted to know was which planets influenced the different parts of the brain; that hadn't been done yet.

This is an ongoing process, even to psychologists who do the studies, and write the books. At the moment I'm learning that Sociopathy cannot come up with answers to several disturbing questions. It seems that sociapaths are invisible, except if caught doing a crime, and many are too smart; or not criminally inclined. They are like fingerprints, individual; nothing outwardly gives them away. Like everyone else, they generally dress, and live a lifestyle that everyone sees as respectable; like the mask we all wear when we create a persona from which we can deal with other people. The scary thing is that 1 in 25 people are sociopaths, which means they have no conscience and can do whatever they want without any guilt feelings; it makes you think twice about the seemingly cold, heartless people you know.

What I like about this book, 'the socipath next door' by martha stout, ph.d. is that it is written to help us recognize them, so we can avoid becoming victims. The disturbing thing is that as I read the case stories it reminds me of people I know, some related by blood, which explains some of the behaviour that has often puzzled me. I'm only halfway through the book, and I'm really hoping she comes up with some effective ways of dealing with these 'loved ones.' So I'm eager to finish reading this book; so much so that it's actually distracting.

For now it is believed that there is no cure. Another disturbing thought is noticing some of my own anti-social behavior along the way; what's the old saying, "It takes one, to know one!" It certainly takes personal experience to empathize with others. Still I wonder if I were one of those born with a predisposition, who became relatively normal because of positive early bonding with loving caregivers. And so the quest for understanding continues.

A slave to your game.

2008-10-23T00:17:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about this new entry for a few days, but haven't been able to tear myself away from blogging on freewebs open forums. Fact is, I have become a slave to to it.

If obsessions, and addictions are equal to slavery, then I have become a slave to what was intended to be my ministry. The site itself hasn't been updated for about two months; having to answer a pile of private messages from website friends has become tiring; especially those who seem to need a lot of attention, and send emails as well.

It's possibly only being thoughtful, as I get add ons, which she thinks will interest me; however, she sent a really nice story that turned out to be a chain letter. I hate chain letters. Lately I haven't even gone to my email inbox. It reminds me of an article I read about internet protocal; i.e. manners expected on email. One was answering promptly. This problem lies in the number of friends you make after starting sites to socialize. The more friends you have the less attention you spend with each one, as you have to deal with each individually online. I suppose that's why chatboxes are so popular, but from what I've seen of them I find them inane.

For me the obsession is the open forums; especially 'rants & raves' that is the hottest topics. The comments can be reasonably long, and there is a lot of spiritual warfare going on there.

Something about the battle has infected my being; I enjoy bantering with the Christian bashers. I like wielding words, and picking apart the notions of those who aim criticism, and ignorant remarks, at those who are just trying to take the 'good news' to the world; as Jesus commanded.

The major instigator of the attacks on Christian forum sites is actually a very bitter 'once Christian' individual, who has turned to mysticism and occult practices. He reminds me of the ancient Israelites who turned their backs on God. I believe they and alla have something in common; some very desperate prayers were not answered and they lost trust in God's promises. I have even seen it in my own son; they don't want to disbelieve the existence of God, or Jesus, but they put their faith in worldly methods to get what they want, and are resentful that their prayers were not answered.

He has become very legalistic, and denies the name Jesus as being the actual name of the messiah, 'the Christ', because of the translations of language. Also he accuses all those who believe in 'the name' Jesus of being anti-Christ, or followers of Satan. The image that westerners use to depict Jesus, is the foundation for his false Christ theory. It's pretty safe to assume that it's Jesus he is actually striking out at. The followers are simply pawns in his well thought out plan to take over the forums, and drive the Christian presence away from them.

I cannot just let him do that. He doesn't want impressionable minds converted to Christianity.

At the moment alla is posting filthy spam, saying I encouraged CAoD to create such spam, but he only does it where I post, to I have to remove myself from serious threads. I will start another thread where I can do battle with alla. I am getting antsy to finish this, and move on with this idea.

The radical in my spirit is fighting back for the freedom of speech: to shed light on ignorance, and rebut propoganda whenever I see it. Alla if fighting back with a smear campaign, against me; he has litterally said I am his next target. He is so proud of the idea that he brought down CAod, but they still have a presence here; and keeping a low profile--just like alla did when we thought he had been dumped.

He doesn't intimidate me anymore. Having some experience with his modus operendi, and my new study of the sociopaths among us, it fairly easy to see what his game is now. Funny thing is that many of the old Christian posters, are not posting anymore. It would seem that the skeptics are also getting bolder, and increasing their own attacks; fortunately, many are more curious than simply hostile.

The Bat Cave

2008-09-02T09:29:00.001-07:00

For awhile last month it looked like my web friends and I needed a private place to communicate freely, away from the prying eyes of alla-1331, over on the Freewebs sites. It was all very exciting, like Christians in hiding from the oppressors. The concern was that even private messages could be hacked.

I suddenly remembered that I had this pretty dead site, which could serve as a secret 'Bat Cave' where I could leave notes for my friends until the situation was resolved. The picture in the left margin below the poll, became a symbol for this place. It is a house I rented in Rosseau, overlooking the lake, and it actually had bats in the attic. Little did I know the picture would be used on the net; I had intended to do a painting, but I seem to have lost all ambition to paint. It's just so nice to have my own pictures to illustrate my posts, but at the moment my Kaspersky security software is not letting me download on a post. I really have to learn how to train it. It wont let me answer site comments from my gmail inbox either; to get around that I have to go the long route of going to the site where the comment came from.

This little post is just to explain the picture for those who get that far down the page.

Too many irons in the fire

2008-09-02T06:06:00.000-07:00

As I face the task of organizing the information for all my websites I recall my trepidation about hooking up to the internet. I suspected it could soak up a lot of time. If I had known just how true that was I may still have been offline.

My biggest headache though is rummaging through my notes to find the usernames, and passwords that go with each site. I finally went out and bought two new notebooks to get this information organized, and to log what I wrote; and where I wrote it. This will help me link them all together. If I've already written about the topic on my mind, it makes more sense to include a link to the original article, than to waste space and time repeating myself.

In the process of doing this I find there is an email address I created, but never used; a couple of websites I forgot about; and no recorded passwords on some. It's so easy to get into this blog site as I only have to click on my Google accounts. I had to hunt down my url for this site once before; I think I stored the info when it was emailed to me--in my favorites--for a time such as this. I have a new blog entry on Freewebs, in which I refer to 'the joy and frustration of blogging' (two articles on this site), to finish it all that has to be done is include the url.

Another reason I want to link my sites is for traffic. Since none of my sites are business sites it's not to generate revenue. Two of my sites are so busy they'll keep me occupied all day, other sites are so dead they need some life pumped into them. This site is one of them. I find myself wondering if I'm that boring, or if different hosted communities have different attitudes about leaving comments. For instance; on my Gallery-Workshop, which is around two and a half years old, I only got one comment; it was from a friend who did me a favor to see if the url was working. I got two here from the same person, because I left a comment on his site. I know the gallery-workshop is not a dead site as it gets hits all the time.

I can see now how this can actually work for me: I don't need anymore cyber-friends, it takes days sometimes to answer the comments from the friends I already have; it's my reason for having so many sites that is important. The Gallery-Workshop is to use my art archive to give free drawing lessons; plus there is clip art, and coloring pictures that can be printed out free. Pictures hog the disc space, and not being able to upgrade there is no room to expand, except to include YouTube videos that demonstrate things I have no room to do myself. That is a God send, as my net activities give me no time to do it all myself anyway.

There is some writing at the Gallery, and a link to my first site, which I can no longer edit; I can't access it. It has my Road to Damascus testimony, the clip art and free Disney character coloring pictures, which is what some people would be going there for. It is surprising how often you can help someone by sending them to another site. The group I belong to on LiveJournal is a drawing crowd. My sites at Google's Blogger are for my writing. I have one more, which is the hog for my attention.

The newest and busiest is on Freewebs: it was started as a place to published the Christian triva crossword puzzles I plan to create. I finally got a free download software program that would help me make them. As it turned out, I got a couple in a file on the site, but couldn't get the interactive one downloaded to the page. I almost gave the site up, but discovered the very active open forums. I like that there are lots of Christians there, with enough opposition that they get to excercise their faith muscles. There are several blog entries that cover this: http://www.freewebs.com/christiancrossword.

I'm abstaining from the forums for awhile to catch up on some neglected things: one of which is to print out some crossword puzzles, now that I have ink in the printer; then scan them into 'My Pictures' and download them as JPEGs. I only hope they come out page size. The activity on the forums is very addictive, so it could be hard to resist for a week; forunately there is a lot to be done, so the time will pass quickly.

Soul Searching

2008-08-28T05:50:00.000-07:00

The last week almost seems like a maniacal nightmare. The influence that alla-1331 had on everyone who posts in the Freewebs forums is disturbing. He is very accomplished at mind control, and his game was, on the freeweb forums at least, to create a moblike mentality to get the posters fighting among themselves .(http://www.hisnameisjesus.org/allasbigguns.htm ) I got sucked into it too; I felt like a Christian soldier going off to war.

My forum titled 'alla vs thebiblethumpers' was a very stimulating battle field. Life had become very boring until I discovered these discussion groups; sometimes I wondered why the Lord didn't just let me die on the operating table, when I had my heart attack. With my limited funds I wasn't out in the world being a blessing; I couldn't even afford bus tickets to fellowship at my home church.

It was easy for him to bait the resentful souls, the holier than thou, and born-again believers, with his insults, false accusations, and un-Christlike behaviour; though he claimed to be 'True Christian' intent only on exposing false Christians. In the end his overconfidence as the cash cow of Freewebs was, in part, his downfall. He became more trouble than he was worth when he started making wild unsubstantiated claims about people in positions of power at Freewebs. On top of that the CEO was overwhelmed with a mountain of email abuse reports.

It was puzzling why he was allowed to continue behaving the way he was: he could have been shut down weeks ago; we can only assume there may be some truth in alla's claim that he was valued for the revenue his antics generated. If that's the case, I think that whoever allowed it to go on wasn't aware of the Pandora's box that was being opened.

There have been no new post from alla-1331 for several days; my freewebs friend, and sister in-Christ, Marcia, reported that his site had been frozen. I got confirmation in my private messages yesterday, saying the situation with alla was resolved, and to say a few words to end the thread at alla vs the biblethumpers.

I had already posted my intention to move on, since some comment made to me about my verbal duels with alla added to his reasons to reject Christianity. That was the blow that woke me up: my pointing out the truth was being interpreted as selfish motives, and hateful! I saw no point in justifying my behavior, but the idea of what I was saying made Christianity look bad didn't sit well in my heart. The time had come to consider my motives, and get a sense of how I can use what was uncovered; to see how I can help my fellow freewebers get past the fall-out of the battle; to put the genie back in the bottle.

Who is alla-1331?

2008-08-24T05:03:00.000-07:00

Re: Sat. Aug.23rd post in 'Prayer' forum topic.

After accusing Joshlt, again, of being 90scartons he said, "This was first determined by a mainframe computer in a major corporation that owns controlling interest in freewebs. It was then checked and verified by freewebs...............there has been an alliance between shareholders of freewebs, and those with longstanding interests here [must mean the paying site owners, whom he brings up] they know who is who."

? He said, while bragging about being freewebs 'money cow' that he had only been a member for a few months. How could he possibly know the inner workings of freewebs, unless he was acquainted with upper level personel before he signed on as a user? Is he a shareholder, or one with longstanding interest at freewebs?

What to do now?

2008-08-23T04:44:00.000-07:00

I'm sure Josh and Marcia, my blogging friends, are as perplexed as me. I kind of feel like Moses, when he'd gone to pharaoh that first time, and the response to 'let my people go' was, 'let them make bricks without straw.'

I can't help but wonder if alla flooding the forums, with vile titles, is a response to my idea to send eveyone with a complaint for our nemesis, to his site--in an attempt to keep him busy. I made a mistake of publicly posting it. It looks as if he has turned the tables on those who patrol the forums, looking for comments to report as abuse, and throwing in their two cents worth when a comment needs to be made. Yesterday he started at least two dozen new forum titles in 'rant&rave' alone.

A lot of people will pass on such outlandish titles, but some curious bypassers have made comments in one or two, within minues of posting. I checked out about a third of them, and they are all about the same. Some small vile statement, or nothing. You have to click the user pic to get to his purpose. It's a link to what looks like a kids game. When you open it there's a picture of Russian soldiers, with a banner, carrying another vile homosexual slanted statement about alla. Can't help but wonder who these are actually targetting.

The first one, (the last posted) 'Amazing' might be the key. He is talking to game players, and getting to different levels to continue in the conversation! The profile link leads to the same picture and message as all the others; though I did see that 'Christian Tabloid' portal to a game, on a few links somewhere--I thought of this when his message talked about the levels of the game. Somewhere in there, I read instructions concerning the proper working of links--if I recall correctly, a three digid number was given--his concern was that with so many links there could be some errors. Definitely a game is going on, and he has a team working it.

Our puny individual efforts to counteract what he's doing is obviously going to be a waste of time; he is out of control. The only hope I see of ridding the forums of his disruptive influence, is if he walks away with enough rope given to him by Haroon, to hang himself. He has become overconfident, and has at last revealed his true colors. His downfall, could come from his advice given on the topic of reporting inappropriate behaviour. He actually tells us what we need to do to get action on our complaints; what form to get (2275 certificate); where to get it (any US courthouse); where to send it (abuse@freewebs.com); and how to prove the claim is valid. According to alla, Haroon will be forced to do something if copies are sent to him. He hasn't said whether you have to file the complaints in the US court to finalize it.

I doubt if it's stupidity that led him to such carless revelation of his potential take down; arrogance, born of overconfidence, and a psychopathic personality is more likely; which means he could actually be dangerous. He is definitely a handler, as he accuses bold Christians of being, also I don't like the idea of how he can, and obviously is, playing with the minds of children.

If I were still in St. Catharine's it would be easier to cross the boarder and pick up a 2275 certificate , but at the moment I can't take that action myself. It's going to take insiders working together, by pm's, to let others see that we can get him evicted. I have started to notice those who are tired of the games, and plan to click on their user pick; to send a pm briefly suggesting what I'm outlining here. I wont give this link to just anyone, I will have to be sure their disgression can be trusted. This is a 'bat cave' where we can exchange ideas without alla getting wind of what we are saying. In a way it's what he accused Marcia of, except no-one is plotting to do him physical harm, but his insanity on freewebs has to come to an end.

Someone has to have the gumption, and the equipment to capture the offensive content, and the url where it's coming from, to prove the complaint is not frivolous. According to alla, there is a landslide of complaints in Haroons office, and he is getting really ticked off. Is the 'cash cow'
becoming more trouble than he's worth?

It's possible that this flood of new forum titles is engineered to keep us distracted; I for one have spend most of my days in past weeks, on the computer dealing with responses and messages. It's surprising how much of my day is wrapped up in what he is doing; other projects are on the shelf, and it's causing big trouble at home. I have heaps of research notes, in which details are buried: I plan to make up little reports of my findings, and post them here as 'notes' They will be archived by date, which is inconspicuous, so when I have something I feel is important to share with my webfriends, I'll link them up and tell them which note is for them.

This all reminds me of my early days as a child of God, when I bought wigs for the time I may need to go incognito. Maybe I should stick one on and take a new picture on our cheep little web cam, and make it one of my userpics.

Afterthought: getting rid of alla will not bring peace back to the forums; there's a lot of weird kids out there; some even sound like alla in their posts; he has unleashed something that will fester even without him. So even without alla we will still be faced with what to do now.

Where the action is.

2008-08-22T07:09:00.001-07:00

It has surprised me that no matter how many hits you get on a website, comments are few and far between. It's the same on some blogs. From what I read in a book called, Daggerati (the spelling doesn't look right--book not handy to check), written before the turn of the century, it was anticipated that people would flock to sites where they could socialize.

Well I finally found a web server that lives up to this expectation. All along I've wanted to find the perfect spot to share my writing, and to interact with other Christians. A very apt name for this meeting place is freewebs 'Forums' You simply go to your favorite topic and watch the game evolve.

Watch long enough and someone will say something you can't resist responding to, but you do at your own risk; some topics are knock down/drag out--such as on 'hot topics' and 'rants&raves'-- even the general discussions can end up being a circus, if your forum title includes any word or name that hints at Christianity, or faith; even topics considered sin, such as gay issues. Any member can start there own forum; all you need is a question, or a topic you want feedback on. It's as simple as posting a blog entry. It always starts at the top of the list, so if you have a catchy title, you could be glued to your computer before you know it.

I went in about 5-6 weeks ago, looking for friends to get traffic on the website I built there. Now with freewebs and LiveJournal, I can be busy answering messages and comments all day.
I've been a relative hermit all summer, but it's been far from boring.

I can empathize with the gays when it comes to dealing with 'gay bashing' since as a participant on the forums I have become a target of 'Christian bashing' and have experienced the bewilderment of where such outlandish ideas come from.

There is one major nemesis for Christians at the moment: he's very proud of himself; he takes advantage of the freedom granted to him as a 'cash cow'--knowing he will not get the boot, for slandering those who oppose his doctrine. So he prowls through all the forums looking for whom he can devour; turning every attempts at pleasant chats, into battlefiels. Frankly it can be as stimulating, as it is infuriating; I just thank God that it's not face to face--it does check our emotional responses. But there maybe a sense of freedom in the anonymity of blogging behind a user name, that allows people to say something they wouldn't under normal circumstances.

While browsing through portfolios of people I've become curious about, some interesting writings came to my attention. There is some tension with a big paying clients and the new policies, which will deminish their service in favor of the now hugely popular forums. It seems the older business types with websites are slowly leaving, and the target market is young and out for a good time socializing more than building websites. Essentially it's the entertainment vallue, which draws the traffic and advertising revenue. Wouldn't you just know that money was involved in where the action is? It strikes me as one of those which came first questions.

Flogging a dead horse

2008-08-15T06:31:00.000-07:00

I haven't been here for awhile; I've been wrapped up in following-up comments in my freewebs site, and LiveJournal, so when I looked to see what comments needed to be answered here I was amazed that there have been none. This is frustrating, and working on this site makes me feel like I'm flogging a dead horse. My essay post 'A Coming of Age' was such a controversial topic that I thought at least someone would feel like blasting me

If anyone reads any of my entries, let me know that you were here; it would be a great encouragement.

The Journey?

2008-08-07T05:22:00.000-07:00

Why did I start this blog? I had already learned what time consuming monsters we can create, when we open ourselves to interaction with others in cyber-space.

As a Christian that was good, there are times when you read someone's journal, and it's obvious they need a word of encouragement. That's right up my alley: I cannot go anywhere, or do anything that requires paying your own way; or even donate to worthy causes, but I can be open to the unction of a cry for spiritual help.

There is a lot of idle chit-chat on casual style blogs like LiveJournal, and freewebs, where you are encouraged to share things about 'You!' Sometimes it's like reading someone's diary, and for the life of me I didn't see how strangers were interested in seeing personal snapshots of friends and family. I do see a strange phenomenon though: a bonding of people as they respond to what others post, and befriend each other. It's rather like having a 'pen pal' without having to wait days, or even weeks for an answer. That's why I prefer e-mails to letters. It gives me the luxury of composing what I want to say, editing to make sure my point is clear. The beauty of doing it on the computer is the lack of correction signs on the paper.

My problem is: I'm long winded. When I get on a roll I can write pages, which becomes an issue if I exceed the equivolent of 2, letter size, pages when I'm ready to post. I ran into this when I added "Change" to my essay list, here on blogger. Also when I responded to comments on forums: like the discussion groups at 'freewebs.' When I signed up for blogger, with sharing my writing in mind, I wasn't aware yet of this limitation.

The forced rest from 'The Net' that came after writing my first posts on blogger, was a blessing in disguise. It gave me time to assess what I'd done with my first experience on the internet. When I got back, the pirated software was gone, hopefully so would all the problems of being infested with spyware. Now I realize it's time to edit, or delete some of those early posts, but my only two links to others on blogger are in the 2 comments on one of them.

I could get frustrated with such a puny response, but when I browsed through some sites of others on blogger, it was obviously a popular place for promoting a lot of commercial endeavors.
I even found a lot of cookies from sites on blogger, while I was troubleshooting before my windows program shut itself down to protect what was left of its integrity. It also occured to me this week as I wrote a Knol, that I don't even know what my URL is on this site. It's so easy to get in by going to my Google accounts that I haven't followed up on finding out, so I can promote this site on my blogs and webpages. However, I am taking this one step at a time; first things first, as the old saying goes.

At this stage of my journey, I have to get organized; list all my contact points to the right places, etc... and have them within easy access. It's also time to investigate, more deeply, what it means to be a Google blogger. I just thank God, for the new feature, Knols; sounds tailor made for me.

An old essay: A Coming of Age.

2008-08-02T15:02:00.000-07:00

As I finished reading "Look Away, Look Away" by Ben Hass, my mind jumped to the current furor over same sex marriage. Reading this novel impressed me with the similarities between the Civil Rights Movement and the Gay Rights Movement. Suddenly, it came to me last night that what we are seeing is a coming of age.

I don't know how long gays have fought for recognition as 'normal' human beings, I only know what I've seen. Bit by bit, since the 60's--when I first learned about homosexuality--I've observed how they have organized their cause, and taken what they want. Now, on the whole, society has tolerantly adopted a 'Live and let live' attitude: on Pride Day it looks as if they are generally embraced, but it's the big money the event brings to the city that is embraced, and promoted by those who benefit financially.

Now they are messing with the sanctity of marriage, those with religious morals are rising up to proclaim, 'Enough is enough.' The definite line between pro and con is the basis for a great debate; nothing will sway many from what they believe. Therefore there will always be conflict between one side and the other. As I see it, the private members Bill-250 is designed as a gag order, for those who oppose the lifetyle.

The only true freedom is in serving something bigger than ourselves; for Christians it means serving God. This is how we make life worth living for others; knowing that living for our own desires alone is idolatry. A true coming of age is seeing that we are part of something beyond ourselves, and recognizing our place in it. We all are gifted with talents that enable us to work together. It's only when we recognize our own, and use them for the good of others that we feel blessed, and satisfied.

The coming of age for the gays, has birthed another. "The Church" (aka the bride of Christ) is waking up to its responsibility. The battle that's being waged goes beyond the social struggle for victory; it is spiritual in nature. Lucifer has kept blinders on believers: using deception, lies, and religious doctrin. We were kept in the dark concerning our inheriance: kept from seeing who, and what we are-in-Christ (the Greek word for The Anointed One, and The Anointing). But The Holy Spirit, who is the Spirit of Truth, has been revealing these things to born-again believers for the past hundred years, through anointed preaching teachers. Our faith has been tested by tribulation, and with our spiritual education we are emerging like butterflies.

As I said earlier, this current infringement on the sanctity of marriage has pushed 'the church' to the brink. That old serpent, the devil, is using it to trample on this spiritual coming of age. To many this sounds silly, but he will promote anything that rebels against God's will, and word. However, believers know that Satan lost control the day Jesus died, and it was proved three days later that there is life after death. The only power left to him is the power to deceive, which serves God's purpose in testing a Christian's faith. Even Jesus was tested in the wilderness.

Jesus' last words to his discipes were, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; teaching them to obey all I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matt.28:18-20). Before that day they were told they would do all He had done, and more. That included: healing the sick; raising the dead; and driving out demons, which is well recorded in the book of Act. Most of us may not have the confidence yet to step out in faith and exercise this authority, but we can't resist the unction to lift our voices in defence of what's right; as we see the erosion of the Judao-Christian underpinning that established our country, and made it great.

It doesn't mean we hate, or fear homosexuals; on the contrary, we know how the ways of the world blinds those who reject God's ways. We were lost souls once too. The problem we face is 'face to face' contact with athiests, and skeptics. Things get said that stir up emotions, and zealous believers often react carnally. The truth is hard to swallow, if you want your own way; that's why those we oppose want to shut us up.

As Jesus hung on the cross it looked like Satan had won; he had killed the Messiah; if he understood prophesy, and believed in the resurrection he wouldn't have done it. But then that's what Jesus was born for; He gave himself willingly to fulfill prophesy. The world may see us as just a troublesome bunch of kooks, but those who can't get passed being full of themselves, wont realize Satan is using them as pawns to assert control. Now, that old devil, doesn't like the awakening of this sleeping giant--he has to know his time is shortened--for this giant ignores the color of your skin, and social status, or nationality; those things are trivial to God, and He is the power behind this waking giant. People, Lucifer is facing his last showdown, and is trying to avoid the inevitable; I read the end of the book, he lost and can't change that; praise God.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After two days of pouring over this I discover that 3 letter size typed pages is too long for a blog post. I lost the meat out of my sandwich, and found it at the bottom; a little worse for wear.
In future I will do anything more than 2 pages long in parts.

My question is: if you got to the bottom of this, would you be interested in seeing the meat, as part 2?

I'm back

2008-07-31T11:33:00.000-07:00

It' been a long time since I updated this blog; frankly I forgot I had it, in the focus of working on a new website, 'Bible Trivia Crossword Puzzles.' I'm not sure if it works, I can't find it on the search engines; though I did register on Google, and my cousin in Britain found it. Anyway here's the URL I was given if you want to try it: http://www.freewebs.com/christiancrossword

After working on Tripod's free webs, 'freewebs' is really frustrating; it's not very user friendly; makes me feel small like the child in this picture. Just the same I'm determined to use it to connect with other Christians. Coming back to this site reminds me of all the good intentions that somehow never get dont.

At least I found out that I've had visitors while I've been away; no comments, but my profile had some hits. That is encouraging. I'll have to add a memo to my 'to do' list and make the effort to get that first chapter posted.

Assumptions and Good Intentions

2008-07-15T17:59:00.000-07:00

I've been away from the net for awhile, but I'm back with a different server. It was a false start in the spring, when I did it without any personal security system. Primus said they had protec- tion, so like a babe in the woods--I took it for granted that I was safe! It reminds me of runny-ing away to Cape Breton Island, NS, in the mid 70's; with some romantic notions of 'getting back to the land.' Assumptions are the root of many frustrations, and good intentions fade in the shadow of daily pressure.

I'm composing this post as a reaction to the rejection of my password, to sign in and update my Gallery-Workshop website. While digging in the chaotic mess of old notes for a solution, I came across my address for this blog site. So rather than fuss over what I can't do tonight, I decided to see if it was still active, and jog my memory of what my intentions had been for starting this blog.

The manuscript for my book that I wanted to post on this site, one chapter at a time, is nearby in a draw; however, my sabbatical from 'the net' took me on a detour. The battle of being a victim of pirated windows, and not being able to update, did me in. I've simply had no ambition,
and the scary thing is, I don't care.

Well, now I have a legal windows program, and Norton protection; plus a reminder that I started this blog to share my writing. It might be wise to start with some essays; I've got a small suitcase full, just waiting to be used.

Now that I know that some people have been curious enough to check out my profile, it might be all I need to get the creative juices flowing again. "I'll be back!"

The Joy and Frustration of Blogging 2

2008-05-07T08:52:00.000-07:00

I had read that a big factor of 'The Net' being successful was the anonymous social interaction it allowed. In the early days of becoming a cyber pilgrim I built three web sites. Though I was getting hits, I was getting no response from the contact me page. If you'd like to take a look and suggest why that is so my URL is http://pats-cyberspace.tripod.com

After awhile I discovered Blogging, and decided it was where people went to socialize, and express themselves on the net. I spent a lot of time on my LiveJournal site. It was rewarding as I could respond with encouragement when I sensed it was needed, and give some advice when I knew the answers.

I'm a little discouraged with this site: I started it about a week ago, and I have had no comments. Is it that people are not accessing it, or is it just boring?

The joy and frustration of blogging

2008-05-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

It was never my intention to use this site to vent my frustration, but I have to let it out.

If you've ever been a victim of pirated windows you have some idea of the consequences that creep up on you. I was off the net for about 18 months, during which time my Norton Antivirus expired. It was a bad idea to cave in to pressure to get back on the net without protection. In the last month I've had to run the gauntlet of an avalanche of ads (some really objectionable) just to get into my gmail. I have to wait a month before I can do anything to resolve all the problems this has caused; then I will have a little extra cash for my birthday.

However, it will only be enough to get something to clean-up the spyware and other problems that are making the computer behave so irratically. I was surprised that the Windows xp is still almost $300, so I maybe stuck with trying to work with this gimpy program. However, there are some built in features of the old program that allow me to reactivate the desktop when it freezes; there is also a reset button that helps me avoid problems from improper shutdowns.

One of the problems right now is all the disc space the cookies are hogging. Now I had enough memory installed to choke a horse, but this gargantuan list of cookies is probably a major reason for the sluggish action. I was told to errase the computer history: this caused some trepidation, as I am still a computer rookie, but I figured I was having so much trouble that it might not hurt, so I plucked up some courage and did it anyway.

Then I opened the cookie file and started to delete the obvious porn, gambling, and other ads cookies. This could be like shovelling snow in the middle of a snow storm. The downside of doing this is that I'm being hit with a slew of ads to solve the problem, and I must have deleted cookies from second parties of my LiveJournal blog site. Trying to sign in this morning to see if some comment replies were delivered, I discover my site has been cancelled and erased. It wouldn't let me start a new account either. I'm surprised I could still get into this one. So I will have to be careful which cookies I delete; there is still some porn files, and gambling.

If some of these third parties, who advertise on sites where the agreement is to accept their cookies, are responsible for some of these objectionable ads then I'll have to be a blog gypsy, if I keep getting wiped out for trying to protect my disc space.

Afterthought: I'm not sure deleting the net history wa a good suggestion.
There are two of us using this computer, and my son was frustrated that his You Tube was not working properly. If you have any suggestions I would really appreciate some comments.

Crisis! What Crisis?

2008-05-03T09:34:00.000-07:00

The title of this entry was borrowed from a Supertramp album, with a change in punctuation to make it mine. The 70's seem so far away now, when music helped a generation; Baby boomers mostly, to open their eyes in their search for truth.
Rarely do I listen to music anymore; just got out of the habit, and prefer peace and quiet these days. Is that one of the signs of getting old?
In our generation now, life is overpowered by crisis: the news gives us daily doses, as if that's all we live for; of course, being on top of the latest news making events is all about ratings. But being an ex-hippy, suspicious of establishment motives, I have to wonder how much of the news we hear is a smokescreen; engineered to distract us from something we aught to know.
This climate makes most of us want to escape, one way or another, from the bombardment of anxiety provoking stimuli. Lately I rarely put on the tv, unless I feel like watching CSI (the original series). We recently got back on the net, so my home page gives me the headlines from which I can choose to read the details of what means something to me. Now I can take a broader look over what I want to know on You Tube.
Last night, while browsing files on a couple of my favorite preachers, it struck me that there is a great spiritual crisis brewing right under our noses.
Those raised with Christian doctrine will be familiar with the term "The Body of Christ," or "The Church." Simply put, both terms refer to those who are born of the spirit (born-again). The letters (after the 4 gospels--message of good news--in The New Testament) were written to the early believers, who had stepped out in faith and experienced the new birth.
One thing we are encouraged to do is strive for unity among ourselves, but what I saw last night was a great disunity. Much of the 'Christian bashing' is coming from those who are caught up in denominational doctrine. These people are no better than the Pharisees, who Jesus lambasted as being hypocrites, and told us we had to be better than them. It's no wonder that so many are turned off by Christianity.
The target of most is 'the faith movement.' It seems that many can't deal with the idea that God wants to bless people; especially when people of faith become prosperous. We have so called Christians who seem possessed of a 'sour grapes' spirit. Within the body we are supposed to be happy when we hear of how God has blessed others.
People like Donald Trump, famous stars, and entepreneurs are praised for their success, but Christians who try to enjoy the good things of life are persecuted; called thieves, liars, and false teachers. I suppose we shouldn't be surprised; Jesus said we would be persecuted for our faith in him. So if we never get attacked by the secular world, we are doing something wrong. The present attack of televangelists could also be the outward evidence of the prophesy concerning the shaking of the church in the last days.
In conclusion I'd like to make one point: only those who are led by God's Spirit can say, "Jesus is Lord." I've listened to many of those now under attack for years, and know that they confidently make this claim.

Introduction

2008-05-03T07:51:00.000-07:00

Don't you just love new beginnings? It seems our brains thrive on novelty, maybe that's why getting stuck in a rut appalls the human spirit. Though everything on this earth including our situations, are subject to change, it's so easy to fall into the trap of thinking otherwise.

In this world it's very difficult to know who to trust, I think that is a major reason for the success of blogging. On my first mission into cyberspace I created 3 websites; reaching out with invitations for contact, but I got only one reaction, and that was from an old friend; it was when blogging was put in my path that I discovered where people interact.

The anonymity it provides is a mask, which allows people to express them- selves; that's what I'm aiming at on this site. In the maturer years of my journey on this earth, most of my fellowship is out there in cyberspace. It was once forcast (in a book, The Daggeratti) that social interaction would be a major component of 'The Net."

This anonymous exchange does encourage a lot of game playing, which has been a part of life anyway. What we present ourselves to be will attract those who relate to our persona; "Birds of a feather flock together." Therefore, I think it's potentially more fulfilling to be honest
as we reach out into cyberspace, and real life; however, it is not easy to be honest; even moreso to ourselves. Though there is nothing wrong with not revealing more than we are comfortable with; infact it's safer, considering the risk of identity theft for starters.

What I want from this blog is an interchange of thoughts: heart to heart; with those who hunger for what's right, or who have a heart for God; with limited chance for fellowship in the world out there. So if one of my entries stirs you up, I'd love to hear what you have to say.